Ray Titus is CEO of United Franchise Group (UFG), a global leader for entrepreneurs with brands in over 1,600 locations in 60 countries.
You can pick your friends but not your family. When it comes to your family business, you can—and should—be selective. Sometimes that means realizing it’s not for you and helping your family understand that you’re not rejecting them, just the job they want you to do.
I’ve been fortunate to lead a business that employs several members of my family, and we’ve built its success on a lot of the lessons my father taught me while I was working in his company. There are a lot of positives in this. Family cares more, so they tend to work harder, and there is a high level of trust.
But trust can be misplaced, and if you’re not working on the right things, family ties will not just bind you—they can handcuff you. That’s why it’s important to remember that success in business is the result of many factors, and the last name of the owners is often the least of them.
My family’s success, for instance, is a combination of our great franchise owners building their businesses successfully, having a fantastic mix of brands in the United Franchise Group (UFG) portfolio and strong strategic planning. Several of our brands are led by family members, and their family background was the last reason for their promotion to top roles. They earned their way in and then earned the right to stay there with their old-school work ethic and enthusiasm for the brands they’re running. If family relationships had anything to do with their success, it’s because they were raised by people who taught them those core values.
Still, it’s not always been easy, and some challenges transcend the everyday issues that arise in any organization.
When Family Gets In The Way
Being the boss’ son, daughter or other relative can be more of a curse than a blessing. Not all accusations of nepotism are unfounded, and you may not even be aware that you’re favoring a family member. The dream of passing on your business to a beloved child may obscure the child’s real lack of qualification. Conversely, you may find it hard to see your child’s adult skills; in your eyes, they’re still that little boy or girl at play. When you can’t let go of that image, you may also find yourself bringing personal conflicts to the office instead of leaving them at home.
I have three sons and three nephews in leadership, and they all have a history together. So, the older ones look at the younger ones as if they are still 16 years old, and the younger ones look at the older ones differently as well. The way we have gotten over this is through training and communication. I meet each of them every month for an hour and we work on it.
The children of founders can have their own blind spots. Some have had their eyes on the boss’ chair for years, and when it’s finally theirs, they try to make changes too quickly without realizing how much they have to learn first. Others are too slow to make needed changes because they’re intimidated by the founder’s success. And some blunder into bad decisions with an air of entitlement: “Mom would never fire me.”
Those stumbles can happen to anyone stepping into big shoes, even when not related by blood or marriage, but when you are the child, errors can be immediately dismissed with patronizing shakes of the head.
Is It Time To Cut Family Ties?
The worst mistake you can make in a family business is to ignore problems like this and keep everyone in place without addressing the issues. It’s a hard thing to do, especially when the answer is to leave the business or ask the relative to go. Who wants to fire their child or parent? How do you tell your parents that the company they devoted their lives to, hoping to pass it on, is just not for you and you’d rather do something else?
None of our family’s younger generation have worked outside UFG, although their spouses have worked in UFG and outside it with great success. They know that if they desire, they can go anywhere and I’d help them. Breaking that news should be easy if both parties have a high level of communication.
When it works, there’s nothing like having your family around you in a business you’ve built together. I get to see my children and other young relatives growing in leadership and learning how to take us into the future. I think it’s worked for us because we put the business first at the office. On the other hand, recognizing when it doesn’t work can only be good for your business and your family.
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