In today’s increasingly diverse and multicultural global corporate world, handling workplace conflict is an essential skill for leaders. Where a diverse group of people works together, conflicting ideas and opinions are bound to arise, and unresolved conflicts can harm individuals, teams, and the organization. To be an effective leader in such an environment, you want to exhibit qualities like curiosity, awareness of your biases, and understanding and adaptability to various cultural norms.
Despite good intentions, when stakes are high and emotions are deeply rooted, conflicts can still arise. I regularly witness firsthand by working with senior leaders who work in global organizations, the impact of conflict on them, the people involved, and the organization: It’s distracting from focus, emotionally challenging, and energetically draining.
Conflicts can show up in different ways. Some conflicts are fueled by strong, heated, visible emotions, while others involve coldness; people withdraw, appear emotionless, and avoid contact with the other party however possible.
Most conflicts arise as the result of one of three things. First, there are judgments made about the other person, other people, or a specific situation. Secondly, there may be denial of responsibility. People who do this might deny facts, outcomes, or accountability for issues they contributed to. Third, there may be a lack of alignment in values. In those cases, each party makes different choices based on what’s important to them.
When conflicts arise, we tend to blame either ourselves or others for what’s happening. Sometimes we express that blame, but more often, we keep it inside due to fear of escalation. If you find that happening, it’s crucial to pause and bring awareness to your thoughts and emotions. Suppressed emotions hinder your mind’s ability to be creative, innovative, or curious, which are essential for helping you reconnect with others and find solutions.
Here are eight steps to guide you in effectively resolving workplace conflicts:
1. Shift Your Thinking into Solution Mode
The emotions you experience are real but realize that they are a product of your thoughts about the situation and are not caused by the situation itself or the people in it. You cannot control what others say or do, but you can control how you respond. Once you shift your thinking from problem to solution mode, your emotions will also shift, giving you more clarity in deciding what to do next.
2. Identify Your Needs
Identify what needs are not being met by asking yourself a series of questions:
○ What do I need?
○ Why is that important to me?
○ What would be different if I got what I needed?
○ What would be the benefits of getting what I need?
○ What’s the cost of me not getting what I need?
3. Ask The Other Party About Their Needs
Calmly ask the other party what they need. The people involved may have already told you, but there are probably underlying desires and drivers that will be important for you to understand. Why is what they need crucial to them?
4. Find Common Ground
Identify areas of agreement or common goals that both parties can work toward, for example: “We both want to create new plans to optimize our time to market” or “We both want what’s best for our team.”
5. Express The Value Of The Relationship
Emphasize the importance of maintaining a positive relationship, even when in conflict.
6. Listen Actively
Listen to understand. Let the other person finish. Validate what they said before you start sharing your story. Avoid jumping to preconceived solutions.
7. Discuss Resolution Options
Collaborate on potential solutions that consider both parties’ needs and stories.
8. Take a Break When Necessary
If conflicts escalate into personal attacks or become toxic, take a break to cool off. This can take 15 minutes or it can take a week. If needed, involve an impartial mediator.
It is to the benefit of all involved that conflicts do not drag on but are resolved quickly. Leaders who adopt a positive attitude toward conflict, remain open and curious in their interactions with others, and maintain open communication can effectively prevent or mitigate negative consequences and maintain healthy relationships.
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